Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! I didn't anticipate for my first post of 2017 to be halfway through February, but alas, I've been drowning in homework, wedding planning, work, trying to have a social life, eating healthy, blah blah blah.
But I can't think of a better day to post than today, the day that we celebrate my favorite emotion: love.
I often joke that, as a psychology major, I chose my field of study strictly because psych facts are a huge hit at parties. But, this semester, I'm taking a class all about love, and how love impacts our lives, how it changes our brains, and the kind of benefits being in love has.
That being said, here are some totally awesome psych facts about being in love!

1. Casual sex isn't always casual
Casual sex can, absolutely, be a no-strings-attached ordeal. However, when you have sex, so many different chemicals release in your brain, and some of them trigger feelings of attachment and affection toward the person you're, ahem, involved with.
Also, women are actually less likely to have sex if they aren't in love (It happens, it just isn't as likely), and men often feel that they are in love after sex. Weird, right?

2. Monogamy actually is natural
The actual definition of monogamy is "only being married to one person at a time." There are definitely places in the world where a man, and sometimes a woman, is expected to marry more than one person at a time, and from an evolutionary standpoint, they're doing it right. If someone is having sex with more than one person at a time, they have a higher chance of spreading their genes around, and ensuring that they make it to the next generation.
However, even in instances where a person has multiple lovers, like polyamorous relationships, or polygamy, they will always have a "favorite" mate. So, in that sense, "monogamy" may not be natural, but pairing is certainly a natural thing.

3. Not expecting your partner to change is a great way to ensure happiness
I just listened to a podcast about anticipating change in a relationship. Surprisingly, people that said that both they and their partners would change reported lower levels of happiness after a year, than people who said that they wouldn't change, or that they would change, but in different ways. The woman that conducted this study said that one reason people were reporting lower levels of satisfaction was that they expected to change in similar ways as their partners (ex. your partner gets a promotion, so you need to get a promotion). Not expecting either your partner or you to change may seem counter intuitive, but it actually promotes stability in the relationship.

4. Love can register as an addiction in your brain
I wont bore you with all of the chemicals that can cause this (mostly because I can't remember all of them), but basically, love can make you feel euphoric, and keeps rewarding you. Because of the rewards, the brain continues to feel euphoric, and you will start to go out of your way to feel this euphoria. Hence, love is like an addiction.

5. Love at first sight does exist
This may be an evolutionary measure, more than anything. Basically, when an animal sees a member of the opposite sex, one that looks healthy and like it would have good genes, they'll mate with them IMMEDIATELY. Because, everyone in the animal kingdom wants their offspring to have the best genes possible.
In humans, this is seen more often in men. Men tend to be attracted to someone based on their physical characteristics (Maybe because they are looking for someone to carry their offspring, maybe because they just like pretty women). Meanwhile, women tend to be more attracted to a man if he is ambitious and goal-oriented.



I hope everyone has a wonderful Valentine's Day with their loves. And, for those of you who don't have a Valentine, take today to show your family, friends, and self how much you love them!